Sandwiches. (:

I love sandwiches.  I really do.


Sandwiches are fantastic.  I like anything fantastic.  Fantastic like a pillow made of cotton candy.  Except that wouldn't be very fantastic once you drooled all over your pillow and the cotton candy would get that really annoying hard spot.  Like when you lick it and then it gets all crystallized.  Anyway, back to sandwiches.


You know what virtually everyone can understand about sandwiches?  You can't have mismatched bread slices.  That's a really big pet peeve of mine but we won't go into that right now.  One of these days I'll make a list of all my pet peeves for you.


Mismatching bread slices just doesn't work.  This might make me crazy, but if I have a sandwich that doesn't have matching slices, I will do one of two things.

A.) Refuse to eat it.
B.) Cut all of the edges until it's even.


My slices CANNOT be uneven!  I go into some sort of neurotic fit if they are.

See?  Neurotic fit.




You know what else I like about sandwiches?  They taste so much better when someone else makes them.  I've never understood why and I don't really care.


When I was little, I would tell my mom "I'm hungry."

mom: "So make a sanny."
me: "But I don't want to."
mom: "Why?"
me:  "I like when you make them."
mom: "Just make a sandwich and stop being ridiculous."

The conversation would usually go like that for a little while before I gave up and made myself a sandwich.  It never tasted as good as when my mom or dad made one.  When it came to making sandwiches, my did is the best.  You might think that your dad is the best, but he's not.  My dad makes sandwiches like a god of sandwiches.


HA! Some guy at my dads work just started singing Flyleaf.  He also just snuck up on me and gave me a heart attack-stroke-seizurey thing.


So, just to let you know, now that my heart is on the floor running for its life, sandwiches are fantastic.