Some Thank you's.

I was in a kind of dark place today and I realized that there are some people that I really need to thank.

Alexius:  Thank you for being my escape from my home during Junior High and listening to me whine for so many years.
Amanda E.:  Thank you for listening to me complain and bitch for all these years and making me laugh at your crazy ideas.
Brittney K.:  I have way too much to thank you for.  Thank you for helping me straighten my thoughts out and giving me your input on my stupid ideas.
Christopher H.:  Thank you.  For everything, really.  You seemed to be one of the only people who made our house seem better than it really was.  Thank you for making me laugh all the time and making that home easier to handle.
Danny:  Thank you for just being my big brother and coming down to see me when you were able to.
Dimitrii:  Thank you for just.....being you, I guess.
Jared, Jason, and Justin Lytton:  Thank you for being some of the only people to laugh at the stupid stuff I say when our families get together.  Seriously.  And thank you for being my cousins.
Justin R.:  Just...Thank you.  A lot.
Kelly:  Thank you for being there for me when I need you.
Kim (ensign) Henderson:  Thank you for putting up with my bull for 15 years.
Lina: My tree.  Thank you for being one of the only people I can talk to about anything.
Mike E (daddy):  Thank you for everything you've done for me.  I mean it.
Tiffany, Taren, Carson, & Kenley Dennis:  Thank you for coming down.  Thank you for my ridiculously wonderful niece and nephew.
Tiffiny:  Just thank you.  Words aren't enough.
Grandma & Grandpa J:  There's too much to thank you for to put here.
Riley Denner:  Jeez.  Thank you, Riley, for being one of the few sunshine's in my life.  Every time I see you smile and wave at me it lights up my life.  Thank you, Riley, for being my sun.
Nick:  Thank you for being there for me, always.
The Spencer Family:  Thank you for making my days hilarious.
Stacie Lewis:  Thank you, for being the odd one out with me.

Thank you to anyone that I haven't named here.  These are just all the people I can think of right off the top of my head.  I know that there are so many more people that I should thank, even for little tiny things.  There are so many things I should thank you all for.  I honestly can't thank any of you enough for everything you've ever done for me.  There are some of you that I can thank for helping me lift the gray haze.  I'll talk about that in another blog.  Seriously, though.  Thank you to all of you.  I don't know what I would do without any of you.

Some ramblings.

I think you should all get the chance to know me a little better.  I like a lot of things you wouldn't expect me to like, and a lot of things that would seem totally obvious.  I have this odd affection for rainbows.  Rainbows and really super bright colors.  And then, at the exact same time, I absolutely adore the color black.  Black makes up most of my wardrobe.  With the odd color my skin is, not much looks good on me but black.  Not to mention, I love the fact that I can just reach into my closet and pull out almost anything and it will match.  Maybe my random love of super bright colors comes from my many P.L.U.R. friends?  I have no idea, really.  I just noticed one day that I loved rainbows and bright colors.  Along with anything that will glow under black light.  My brother got me on that one.  I love music of any kind.  It's hard to find music I won't listen to.  Although, I refuse to listen to Eminem.  He has no appeal to me at all.  I love Deadmau5, though.  To me, he is a recent discovery.  To a lot of my friends, they've known him for a while.  I happen to live under a rock, you see.

With my food, I'm picky.  But if you find something I love (Mac&Cheese!) I could eat it all day.  Along with eating, I love to bake.  I have this recipe for rainbow cupcakes and they're weirdly addicting.  I can't get enough of them.  If I could do it and gain NOTHING I would eat the entire pan.  Given, my pan is only twelve of the little gems.  The frosting is just vanilla but it adds to the addiction that is my rainbow cupcakes.  Now, to make you absolutely revolted, I adore zombies.  Books, movies, songs, you name it.  If someone were to ask me my favorite book about zombies, I may have to say the Generation Dead trilogy by Daniel Waters.  I will always support Mr. Tommy Williams (mysocalledundeath.com) in his quest to gain rights for DB people.  My favorite zombie movie, Zombieland.  Hands down.  To me, that movie tops Resident Evil any day.

I have more but I don't think I will post all of it tonight.  You should totally check out mysocalledundeath.  Tommy is inspiring (:


Don't forget yourself.
Z

People.

I've lost a few people in my seventeen years of life.  Two grandparents, a cousin, an uncle, and several pets.  Although, they've never hurt as bad as when I lost someone that's still living.  I got checked out of school today during third period because my stomach was upset.  Instead of going to my aunt's house like I had last week, I went to my mother's.  It has been months since I last spoke to her.  I'd forgotten how nice she was before she started drinking for the night.  Tonight, even after she had started to drink, she was still nice to me.  I can't remember the last time that I was happy to be there.


As I stood in my once room tonight collecting my old stereo, a skirt I liked, my old photo album, and some odd fake lashes, I realized that I missed it there.  It had been a while since I had wanted to be there.  I had wished that my bed was still there and that it wasn't turning into a storage room of sorts.  I missed being around my mother and having dinner with her and my step-father.  I find it sad how I can't go back until her alcoholism stops.  I don't want to deal with it anymore.  I was tired of the fighting when I moved out and I still am but some part of me just wants to go back and stay there for a while.  I don't know why.